Vegetables of Last Resort

We have to eat vegetables.  Otherwise we’d probably get scurvy, or piles or both. Vegetables of Last Resort are not necessarily unpleasant vegetables, but they are those that are only eaten when you have completely run out of fresh veg and are trying to avoid going shopping again until after pay day.  For me, frozen peas and tinned sweetcorn are my standard vegetables of last resort. Pickled beetroot is the ultimate final resort. It isn’t horrible, it’s just that it wouldn’t occur to me to eat it unless the fresh vegetables had run out.

It's Pancake Day, yes it's pancake day, yes, it's p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pancake day!

When I was a child, pancake batter was always made with a packet mix and a matyred expression. Imagine your family requesting a simple pudding made entiely from leftovers, as if a mother doesn't have enough to do, don't worry about me though, I'm perfectly happy to be everyone's slave, etc etc...

Then I moved in with my husband and he was amazed that I would waste money on a packet mix for something so simple (and this is a man who once tried to make chips in a frying pan). So I told him that if it was so easy, he could make them. And he did. In fact, I'm not even allowed to fry the pancakes as I get a bit above myself and try to make them ultra thin like French Crepes and then they break. So I'm the last person you should take advice from about the panckes themselves. I'm pretty damn good on ideas for fillings, though:

• banana and Nutella
• jam and icecream (unlikely sounding but probably my favorite)
• dried fruit, honey and greek yoghurt
• marmite and cream cheese
• ham and grated cheddar
• cooked spinach and cream cheese

Broccoli and Stilton Soup

This is one of my very own recipes and was inspired by sweary celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. The playdoh-faced bully was laying to some hapless cook for serving a broccoli soup that contained about 27 different ingredients; Ramsay insisted that it should only have broccoli and water. I thought he was probably right, but I couldn't bear to agree with a professional git like him, so I added Stilton to mine and here it is:

2 heads of broccoli
1 piece supermarket cheapest Stilton or similar blue cheese
some tap water

1. Cut the broccoli into florets and steam in a vegetable steamer* (don't throw the water away).
2. Use a hand blender** to puree the broccoli, adding the water from the steamer until it reaches the desired consistency
3. Crumble in a much or as little Stilton as you like and stir until it melts into the soup.

It's that simple!

The soup is really tasty and can be divided into portions and frozen. I don't recommend that you eat it before any important social occasions, though as it will make you fart like a builder. You've been warned!

* Yes, you can use a normal pan if you don't have one
** and you have my permission to use a potato masher or improvise as necessary if you don't have one of these either.

Sous Vide

What is the difference between this and boil-in-the-bag?

It's in French, that's what.

System Administrator Chocolate Cake

This recipe for chocolate cake was given to me by our firm's systems and networks guy - a man who likes his chocolate. I love it as it tastes great and works every time.

225g self raising flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
3 tblsp good quality cocoa (I favour Green and Black's with a de minimis of Bournville)
pinch salt
150ml natural yoghurt (1 small pot)
150ml sunflower oil (use the yoghurt pot to measure)
4 tblsp golden syrup
3 eggs
175g caster sugar

1. Line and grease a loaf tin
2. Put eggs, syrup, yoghurt, sugar and oil in a big mixing bowl and beat.
3. Sift in everything else and stir into a smooth mixture
4. Pour into tin
5. Cook in oven at 180 degrees Celsius for between 60 and 90 minutes. (test with a skewer. Cake is done when skewer comes out clean. Cover with tin foil if it seems to be burning on top but uncooked in middle).

Your cake is now ready to eat. As a final flourish I sometimes like to do one of the following:

• Cut the cake in half and add a thick layer of Nutella in the middle to make a sandwich.
• As above but instead of Nutella add a layer of good quality cherry jam and a layer of butter cream to create a homage to black forest gateau.

Tuna Pasta Bake... a student special

With Christmas over and everyone feeling poor it's time to re-live student days with tuna pasta bake. Here's how to make 1 tin of tuna serve 4 people!

1 medium onion
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp Mediterranean herbs
1 tin chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato puree
1 tin tuna (to be really parsimonious, get tuna in oil and use oil from the tin to fry the onion and garlic in!)
1 small tin sweetcorn
4 portions of pasta twists
optional guest vegetable (whatever you have in the fridge. the following work quite well: courgette, sweet pepper, mushrooms or finely chopped carrot)
grated cheddar

• Put a pan of water on to boil
• Chop the onion and the garlic and fry in a little oil in another pan
• Chop the guest vegetable (if using) and add to onion and garlic. Add the herbs.
• Flake tuna into onions and garlic
• Add the tinned tomato, tomato puree and a little water if needed.
• Drain the tin of sweetcorn and tip into the sauce
• Simmer the sauce and cook the pasta in the boiling water until nearly cooked (about 7 minutes)
• Drain the pasta and combine with the sauce. Tip the mixture into an oven-proof dish and grate cheese over the top.
• Bake in the oven at whatever gas mark 6 is in new money until it goes crispy on top or you can't wait any longer.
• Divvy it up between housemates or family members. Serve with green salad, or, if times are really hard, with that vegetable of last resort the pickled beetroot.

Spicy Squash Soup

Here's a good winter recipe; warming, healthy and tasty. It also freezes well.

Ingredients:
1 butternut squash
1 tbl spoon vegetable oil
1 small onion
2 cloves of garlic
2 large parsnips
1/2 tin coconut milk
2 tsp mild curry powder
1 vegetable stock cube

1. Finely chop the onion and garlic.
2. Peel and dice the squash and the parsnips.
3. Gently fry the onion and garlic in the cooking oil.
4. Add the diced vegetables and curry powder. Stir and cook with the lid on for a few minutes.
5. Add enough water to cover veg and dissolve stock cube.
6. Bring to the boil and simmer until vegetables are soft.
7. Remove from heat and blend with handblender
8. Stir in 1/2 tin of coconut milk